set a fire

It was a beautiful morning this morning, which made the fact that my 9:35 Spanish class was cancelled that much better.  So instead of going to class, I spent the morning in solitude.  And boy did I need it.  It was good.  Really good.  I needed to sit and be still and reflect and listen.  My heart has felt discontent.  I have had the desire to be anywhere but here.  Which is kind of ironic because I've been in five states in the past four weeks not counting the ones I've driven through.  Soon to be six in five weeks when I go to Chicago this weekend.  So really I haven't been here but it still just seems like my heart is constantly longing to be somewhere other than where it's at.  Maybe it's because of all the traveling.  But I don't really think so.  The travels were good for me.  All of them were deep and meaningful and special.  But I think the discontent is coming from not being well-rooted in Christ right now.  But the Lord is good.  So good.  And he never leaves and always cares.  He's calling out my name.  Calling me to seek him and dwell in him alone.  And that's why this morning was so great.  He said, "Come here," and I came.  He said, "Be still," and I didn't move.  He said, "Listen to me," and I listened.  He said, "It's okay," and I trusted it was true.  This is some of the truth I needed to hear this morning:



"I am the true vine; my Father is the gardener.  He cuts off every branch of mine that does not produce fruit.  And he trims and cleans every branch that produces fruit so that it will produce even more fruit.  You are already clean because of the words I have spoken to you.  Remain in me, and I will remain in you. A branch cannot produce fruit alone but must remain in the vine.  In the same way, you cannot produce fruit alone but must remain in me.


"I am the vine, and you are the branches.  If any remain in me and I remain in them, they produce much fruit.  But without me they can do nothing.  If any do not remain in me, they are like a branch that is thrown away and then dies.  People pick up dead branches, throw them into the fire, and burn them.  If you remain in me and follow my teachings, you can ask anything you want, and it will be given to you.  You should produce much fruit and show that you are my followers, which brings glory to my Father.  I loved you as the Father loved me.  Now remain in my love.  I have obeyed my Father's commands, and I remain in his love.  In the same way, if you obey my commands, you will remain in my love.  I have told you these things so that you can have the same joy I have and so that your joy will be the fullest possible joy.

John 15:1-11



"Then an amazing paradox begins to dawn upon me:  that I am never more truly myself than when I have given myself up to God.  My actions are never more authentic than when they are the Spirit's actions trough me.  I am never more genuinely human than when I am most godly.  The more harmoniously God lives within me, the more freely I live.  God has most glory before the world when I am most genuinely human.

Perhaps there is an echo of Jesus' final prayer here, that the Father is glorified in the Son, and the Son is glorified in those the Father has given him.  As the early church writer Iranaeus recorded:

The glory of God is a living man;

and the life of man consists in beholding God.

Left to ourselves, we can never handle our own uniqueness.  We have to give the burden of "being me" to God's care and nurture.  But in doing this, we discover more the greatness of our loving Father.  For if God is indeed God, then he has a separate perception and thought for everything that exists .  Every creature at every moment is specifically known and sustained by him.  An infinite love has an infinite attention to loving each creature in its own specific way.  As Jesus said, not a hair of our head goes unnoticed by our heavenly Father.

Because of this, it is no idle pretence or false arrogance on our part to believe that each one of us has a unique journey to make in the company of God.  It is this profound individuation of our whole life before God that gives substance to the reality:

He loved me; he gave himself for me.

James Houston, The Transforming Power of Prayer




So I'm running into the arms of Jesus.  Because there's not place I'd rather be.  There's no place I'd rather be.  Than here in your love.  Than here in your love.  Thanks to a sweet friend that shared with me this song.  Exactly what I needed to hear.