comfort

"Father, You alone know what lies before me this day.  Grant that in every hour of it I may stay close to you.  Let me today embark on no undertaking that is not in line with your will for my life, nor shrink from any sacrifice which your will may demand.  For my Lord Christ's Sake.  Amen."

A Diary of Private Prayer, John Baillie

seek

THE EARTH IS THE LORD'S, AND EVERYTHING IN IT, THE WORLD AND ALL WHO LIVE IN IT... 

Psalm 24:1

Acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with WHOLEHEARTED DEVOTION and with a WILLING MIND, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts.  If you seek him, he WILL be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever.  Consider how, for the Lord has CHOSEN YOU to build a temple as a sanctuary.  BE STRONG AND DO THE WORK.

. . . . .

BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS, AND DO THE WORK.  DO NOT BE AFRAID OR DISCOURAGED, FOR THE LORD GOD, MY  GOD, IS WITH YOU.  HE WILL NOT FAIL YOU OR FORSAKE YOU...

David to Solomon, I Chronicles 28: 9&10, 20

#sweetsweetchesapeake

What a weekend in #sweetsweetchesapeake.  I am so exhausted but I feel so incredibly full at the same time.  My spirit is rejuvenated.  I feel this overwhelming sense of joy.  Really.  Truly.  My heart feels like it's overflowing and I'm just excited and encouraged about life.  Lord, thank you for these people.  Thank you for making us for community.  Thank you for the gift of shared experiences.  Thank you for the way I see you in my friends.

Highlights:
--Chick-fil-A.  It's a special place in Chesapeake.  Only great memories there.  Learned you can return your kids meal toy for an ice cream cone.  Winner.  Also learned they have bendy straws and straight straws.  Who knew?  Lots of laughter there.  And for me, a few tears...
--Triple R Ranch.  More friends, more animals.  Coleman and Austin are quite the horse whisperers...

No words necessary:

--Fountains.  Just one of the many features of #sweetsweetchesapeake.
--Monsters Inc. and a shoelace.  Eric you saved the day.  And our ears.

Thanks, friends, for a great weekend.  Juliette, Callie, Eric, Austin, Coleman, Leslie, Kristy, Mezz, Jim, Baha, Matt, Josh, Dave, RJ, Maria, Charles.  What a gift you are.

puddle of suck

Moving is hard.  Not a this sucks, I want to go home hard but a whoa, I'm learning a lot hard.  There are good days and not so good days and lately I feel like there's been a lot more of the not so good ones.  I guess you just don't really think like an outsider or know what it's like until you are one.  It's easy when things are hard to sit and sulk in my own puddle of suck.  Reminding myself of how lonely or sad or stuck or disconnected I feel.  But I am not alone.  Puddles dry up and so do puddles of suck.  Christ is with me and for me and that is more than enough.  Sometimes I forget that, but it is truth.  I'm grateful for how much bigger Christ is than all of this.

Never in my life have I ever wanted someone to ask me how I was doing so badly.  Someone to call me and check in.  Someone to say they were thinking of me.  Someone to make sure I was doing okay.  Someone to invite me in.  But that's me running to people not Jesus.  When things get tough I go straight to the phone hoping (1) they'll answer and (2) their voice will cheer me up.  Or I immediately want to call Linda and ask for advice.  But all of those things have been removed from me and Christ is forcing me at his feet.  And I'll be honest, I'm resisting it.  My time with the Lord has been anything but rich or consistent.  I feel Him tugging, calling me to Him, and I'm stubborn and refuse to turn around.  I refuse to run into His arms of peace and love.  And have the longings of my heart been satisfied?  No.  I still thirst and ache for more because people are not perfect.  They will disappoint.  They are not Jesus.  I need Jesus.  Only He can satisfy the thirst of my heart and longing of my soul.  

I was thinking about high school kids today.  Envisioning the cafeteria at ZCHS where I led YL in college.  And I can clearly see in my mind the kids on the outside.  On the fringe.  The kids who don't fit in.  Who  sit alone or are super shy or just socially awkward.  Or those who are super goth or hipster.  Every school has them.  The kids that as leaders we're intimidated by not because they're scary but because we don't know how to approach them, or how to start the conversation, or how in the world we'd ever relate to them.  But it hit me that those kids...those kids who sit outside the lunchroom instead of in the lunchroom...those kids feel every day the way I felt last week.  Dying for an invitation.  Craving someone to simply ask them how they are doing.  Someone showing up and making them feel noticed, loved, cared for, significant, worthy.  And then I feel like, Why was I ever scared of approaching those kids?  Why did I worry?  Or question?  Because those kids who seem unreachable are dying to be known.  They're ready.  Their hearts are there.  They're longing.  They don't put up a front.  They're just waiting for an invitation.

So despite the challenges of moving I see Christ.  I'm gaining a new perspective and I'm learning.  And in this case, learning to love the outsider.