wheelhouse

I'm here!  Wheelhouse.  What?!  YES!!!  It's been a crazy day but great.  People keep asking me how I'm feeling and I'm really not stressed at all.  Was a little when I thought Mom and Dad were going to beat me to RVA, but it ended up being great.  I feel a lot of things right now but it's kinda hard to make sense of it all.  Didn't expect to move in and find out about next summer all in one day.  But I'm in Richmond now.  I get to establish roots here.  Create a life.  Trying to trust while asking the Lord what my life here is supposed to look like.

Best part of the day...I got real mail!  Yes, been here less than a day an I got a legit letter!  Well, it's actually a letter that's been on quite the USPS delivery adventure.  First Indy, then Saranac, now RVA.   And it arrived today!  A wedding invitation for my teammate.  Love it even though I can't make the trip to AZ.  Made me feel home.  And another great moment...I ran into someone I knew running errands.  Yes, literally the one other person I know in RVA I ran into on a whim!  And I think I'm going to have a visitor tomorrow!  Like I said, home.  

joy & obedience

How often I associate joy with freedom but I think a more accurate association would be joy and obedience or joy and discipline.  Freedom, free will, me doing what I want...that doesn't define joy it defines selfishness.  And how often do I desire freedom?  I think to myself, if I could just do _________ then I would have joy.  Or, if I could just be __________ I'd experience joy.  And how often to I find myself in those places, the places I've chosen to be in, and completely without joy.  None.  Instead, I experience the opposite of joy.

The last week has been full of such incredible joy.  Really.  Incredible!  I'm feeling so full.  And I think, why?  Why now?  I'm sitting on a deck in Kentucky, not my house.  My car is literally a closet on wheels, I'm saying lots of goodbyes, and I am in the process of moving to a place I have never even visited.  Not even once!  My life is so unsettled yet I feel my heart overflowing with joy.  But I think it's because I'm being obedient.  This isn't profound, I just didn't make the connection before.  But I'm making it now.  Joy and obedience.  I have obeyed.  This is one of the first times I feel confident in my obedience.  Jesus said go and I followed.  I am walking with Him this path into the unknown and he has gifted me with such joy.  Such real, full, spirit-pumping, indescribable, JOY.  It's not a mystery or an accident or a fluke.  Christ wants us to experience joy.  He wants us to experience the desires of our heart.  And He's teaching me the best way tot do it is through obedience.  Unwavering focus on Christ and deep, reckless, unconditional trust in Him.

"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.  Now remain in my love.  If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love.  I have told you this so that your joy may be complete.  My command is this:  Love each other as I have loved you."
-Jesus  (John 15)

"It is impossible to receive Christ and not to receive His joy.  FOR HIS JOY IS JOY!  It is the delirious music of those who have been delivered."
-Walking with the Saints, Calvin Miller

ahhhhhhh!!!

Excitement.  Anticipation.  Expectation.  Preparation.  Joy.  Reminiscing.  Planning.  Packing.  So many things!  But Lord, YOU have me in your hands.  Without a doubt.  Called Case today about rent checks, she picks up the phone saying, "Literally, just talking about you."  Lord, thank you for the community I'm entering in to.  I've never felt wanted or desired like this before.  Really, I don't know that feeling well.  But I'm thankful.  Not that I have attention.  But thankful that this is the situation and these are the people I'm walking into, soon to be living life with.  People eager to love and to pursue and to be present.  I've already felt so loved and cared for by people, most of whom I don't even know.  People praying and asking and making it their mission to find me work.  I'm excited for this time.  Excited to GO.  To BE.  To DO.  To LEARN.  To DISCOVER. To LIVE.  To LOVE.  To BE LOVED.  This is your will.  And it's still mind-blowing that this is my life.  This is real.  This is happening.  I am so underserving of such a great gift.  Lord, I am filed with anticipation and excitement.  Even a little WONDER.  ADVENTURE.  But help me not to have expectations but to let me discover and explore and be.  To take things as they come.  To be present.  To be vulnerable.  To be transparent.  To be unscripted.  To live into the beautiful mystery of every day.  I am one lucky girl.  One girl who is loved by you, Lord.  I pray that in this move I am able to balance old and new relationships.  Balance my time. Balance my finances.  I pray that nothing is done on my own power or strength or knowledge but that every single decision--big and small--be made with you.  Given to you.  Saturated with you.  It's good to know I'm desired.  It's good to know people are excited about my arrival.  But it's better to know this is your will and that you are with me in this.  Help me see and experience things I need to see and experience here where I am.  Before I move.  Prepare my heart and mind for moving while still living presently here.  Discovering the sweetness and the gift of this time off with family.  I don't want to loose sight of the gift I'm living in right now.