all that i need.

This season of advent is hitting me hard.  Rocking my world and bringing me truth.  I am waiting.  I've been waiting for what feels like forever.  And it's hard.  It's confusing and frustrating and at times overwhelming.  I don't like it.  But never in this waiting have I lost hope.  And that is big.  I have Jesus and because I have Jesus I have hope.  I ask questions, I haggle with God, I throw my hands up and say, What the heck are you doing?!  But never have I lost hope.  I can wait in expectation.  God didn't just show up in a manger 2000 years ago but He continues to show up today.  And I can expect Him to show up tomorrow, and the next day.  I can have hope in the midst of waiting.

"GOD IS ALL THAT I NEED.  BUT I CANNOT FULLY UNDERSTAND THAT UNTIL GOD IS ALL THAT I HAVE."

Truth.  That came from a sermon at my church in Indy (Dec 4).  Listen to it here, it's SO good and reminds us that we can have hope.  The King is coming.  The sermon asks, What is it that God wants me to get out of the wilderness (waiting)?  That is seriously the question I ask literally every day.  Why the heck am I here (in VA)?  Show me why I'm here.  And I pray for a heart and a mind that is still.  That hears the voice of God.  Because for me, the wilderness can be loud sometimes.  Or muffling.  Sometimes I only hear myself.  Or I hear the voices of everyone else.  But I want to hear the voice of God and I need to.  Because the wilderness is the place where I come to grips with the fact that God is all that I need but I can't fully understand that until God is all that I have.  He is speaking.  He comes, He enters into my situation with me, He invites me into the light.  He is coming to form me and to deliver me.  It's my job to recognize it.

"In those in between places where I am not where I was, and I am not where I am going, God comes in to teach us that the wilderness is not designed for me to long to get out of the wilderness, as much as it is designed for me to get something out of the wilderness."

I'm reminded of the truth.  That there is hope in waiting.  Seek it.  Pursue it.  Allow yourself to experience it.